CONFUSED

I don’t know how all this started,
but things are not the same
I do not know when things began to change.
Maybe it was your indifference,
Or the fact you didn’t care.
Or maybe because it took so long for you to notice I was there.
I want to make it work,
please don’t get me wrong.
But a part of me is just not there
Not wanting anymore,
Why? I just don’t know.
Maybe, because I longed for your love
For years and years and years
And now that you pour your heart out to me
Its like i’m not even here.
I guess I want a man who will sweep me of my feet,
A man who can depend on himself and not depend on me.
A man who can do things with his kids and be the authority figure.
A man who enjoys spending that time with them because they are still young.
The selfish me would love to be first but I know that will not happen.
For I have been with them for years,
And they still treat me like garbage.
I dedicated ten years to this relationship blindly
Going through the roughest times with a man who used to say that he didn’t love me.
A man who put his friends first before his love
A man who humiliated and lied.
A man who finds excuses for every single thing.
To stay at the bottom of the “I’m going no where pit”.
I just don’t know how to say it,
I guess that is why I’m staying away.
I don’t want to say it’s to late
I don’t want to say no more.
Because I know that I love you
But I don’t feel it anymore.

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