You torment me in my dreams…..

I have want to walk away,
But there you remain.
A sheer memory of what you are.
The love of my life.
The one that made my heart race,
with a very simple smile.
The one who made me feel,
like I was walking on a cloud.
I have never felt this love for someone else,
even though I tried.
For many years I put you aside
not understanding what you felt.
But i knew deep inside of me,
I did not want love of second hand.
I wanted a true love,
unconditional love.
But i did not believe you could give that,
So I walked away.
Not knowing how much I messed up.
I was never sure, you never told me.
I hate this feeling, I hate it I do.
Why did it have to be you?
But you have remained there,
through my stupidness,
through my downs,
through my ups.
Away, but you have been there.
I felt, that I did not deserve your love.
For me your love was pure.
And knowing how I was,
I did not want to taint it.
I came from a family that did not teach me,
what love is.
And you have a family.
They love you.
I hated everyone,
But I didn’t hate you.
How was I going to love you?
If I didn’t even love myself.
I cry at times wishing I was with you,
I wish I can feel your hugs your kisses again.
The way you looked at me,
the way you touched me.
I still remember I will always remember.
No mater how much I want to forget,
your memory haunts me til this day.


My meaning of FRIENDS.

Just because I don’t call you 24/7,

does not mean I am not your FRIEND.

Just because I am not at your house everyday,

doesn’t mean I am not your FRIEND.

Just because I don’t like your status,

does not mean I am not your FRIEND.

I don’t have to kiss your ass,

to be your FRIEND.

Because you would not kiss mine,

to be your FRIEND.

I don’t have to act fake,

to be your FRIEND.

I will be myself,

and you’ll understand.

Some days I will see you,

some days I won’t.

That does not mean,

that I don’t value what we hold.

You don’t have to be a stranger ,

to be my FRIEND.

You can be my family, my kid,

or someone I just met.

But don’t take advantage of this FRIENDSHIP of mine,

because I can spot a fake person,

before they turn around.

Be honest to yourself,

before you say your my FRIEND,

Because when you need me,

I will be there until the END.